Enough with the broodiness already...!

Okay, so my broodiness has been under control since the day Amelia was born. Yep, I wanted another baby as soon as we had her. Not in the "this is easy, lets do it again" or even the "she's growing up, I need a baby again" but because I love it. Being a Mum is the best thing I have ever done (is it okay to start a blog entry so deep and meaningful?) I just knew instantly that I wanted a big family, I wanted to build up this big family around me (not that I don't have a big family already, I do and love it) and for James.

So, 14 months down the line and all of a sudden, everybody is having babies. Yes, everybody. All of my cousins are pregnant, all 3 of them. I love them dearly, they're fantastic mothers, but just how envious am I right now?! Then there's my friends - yep, you guessed it, they're all at it! A few are pregnant, a few are trying. Then, there's me. Totally caught up in the wonderfulness of being a Mummy to our darling daughter but completely uneasy at her having to share me (and Daddy) with another baby. Financially, next year would be fab, summer time onwards, give us plenty of time to save, so I could have the full 9 months off work, but my heart keeps whispering things like "go on, what's a few months?"

James, being a practical and sensible man keeps telling me its okay to wait, we don't have to follow the crowd, we don't have to give in to our impulses and deep down, I know he's right, but that doesn't help my heart who is so desperate to extend our family, to give Amelia a sibling, to go through all those lovely stages again, to be pregnant, feel a gorgeous little bundle growing inside my tummy, being its lifeline. It's such a magical feeling, I loved every second of pregnancy, minus the 14 weeks of morning sickness! Then, reality checks in with the reminders that Amelia sleep isn't getting better, in fact, over the past few weeks, it has got worse. The thing is, with things like that, I can justify them with "she'll have 9 months to improve" or "I'll be up with new baby anyway and won't have to go into the office next day..."

So, back to being in the middle again. Head says no, wait. Heart says do it, do it now. Who knows what will happen? Maybe it will be taken out of our hands and happen itself? Maybe one day James will just say "lets try now" and surprise me. Maybe Amelia will start sleeping through. Well, you never know. Still, at least its not something we have to make a decision on right now. At the moment we have a plan and shall be sticking to that. 2 down and 4 to go...