I'm officially a bad blogger....

Its been absolutely ages since I wrote in this blog - and even if it wasn't that long ago, it sure feels like it as my head is full of things to write about.

I think I normally start with Amelia updates, so here we go. Well, she is most definitely a toddler that tantrums, at the grand young age of 18 months. Growing up far too quickly, with far too much of her own opinion and personality! She knows what she likes, doesn't like, loves and hates. Even know, she still amazes me with something new each and every day. Today, it was another speech related milestone. The conversation went like this...

"Amelia, do you want to help mumma with the washing?"

"Yes"

"Yes what?"

"Yes please mumma"

"Okay, well we need to put it into the washing machine, can you do that?"

"Okay"

Amelia puts the washing into the washing machine

"Do we need liquid now?"

"Yep!"

"Where does mumma keep the liquid"

"Here mumma?"

"Yep, here in this cupboard, good girl"

Amelia opens cupboard and hands me the fabric softener

"Thank you"

"Ta mumma"

"Okay, Amelia, all done now, well done"

"Yay"

Amelia claps herself.

She's just amazing, she truly is. I know, I know what you're thinking "she's your daughter, of course you think she's amazing" but honestly and truthfully, she is so incredibly bright. Anyway, we are still keeping a record of her words on the fridge. Not words that she can copy (as she can say most words if you ask her to) but words she has learnt all by herself and uses on her own. I think we have about 40-50 now.

So, now you know all the good things, here is a bad thing - her sleep. My God, her sleep is so bad. We have tried a sleep training thingy, to stop her coming into our bed during the night but all we managed to do was argue, get more sleep deprived, more tired, more frustrated and more angry. So after a week, we gave up (we needed to sleep, trust me) so now, we get her back into bed if we're still up (she normally wakes once before midnight) and then when she wakes during the night (anywhere between 1 and 4am) she walks into our room and I simply lift her into our bed. I can hear many of you out there screaming at your PC "dont do it, dont do it!!!! Rod for your own back!!" and blah blah blah, but seriously, when we both have work in the morning, we simply need our sleep and it isnt that awful. We are going to try again in a couple of months time and see how it goes. Id really like her to be sleeping through before she's 2, otherwise we'll never even contemplate trying for another baby.

On a positive note, I have moved jobs into a new team, in Bristol. Its possibly the best career move Ive made in my 5 years at NR and I love every minute of it. I wont go into details, as its not what this blog was for, but a happy mummy at work means a much nicer wife and happier mummy at home.

We are starting to do some work on our house now (brought it 2 years ago, so about time!) and the first room of attack is our bathroom. Im so excited, its silly! I cant wait for the house to feel more like ours, to our taste. We're also growing lots of fruit and veggies this year. We did some last year and Amelia ate every single tomato and strawberry we ever had..... so this time, its much more veggies (we brought a raised bed, which is huge and gorgeous), herbs and fruits. I simply cannot wait for them to grow.

Oh well, time for a glass of vino now and hopefully, if I can talk James into it, a foot rub.

Speak soon blog,

Sj xx

Enough with the broodiness already...!

Okay, so my broodiness has been under control since the day Amelia was born. Yep, I wanted another baby as soon as we had her. Not in the "this is easy, lets do it again" or even the "she's growing up, I need a baby again" but because I love it. Being a Mum is the best thing I have ever done (is it okay to start a blog entry so deep and meaningful?) I just knew instantly that I wanted a big family, I wanted to build up this big family around me (not that I don't have a big family already, I do and love it) and for James.

So, 14 months down the line and all of a sudden, everybody is having babies. Yes, everybody. All of my cousins are pregnant, all 3 of them. I love them dearly, they're fantastic mothers, but just how envious am I right now?! Then there's my friends - yep, you guessed it, they're all at it! A few are pregnant, a few are trying. Then, there's me. Totally caught up in the wonderfulness of being a Mummy to our darling daughter but completely uneasy at her having to share me (and Daddy) with another baby. Financially, next year would be fab, summer time onwards, give us plenty of time to save, so I could have the full 9 months off work, but my heart keeps whispering things like "go on, what's a few months?"

James, being a practical and sensible man keeps telling me its okay to wait, we don't have to follow the crowd, we don't have to give in to our impulses and deep down, I know he's right, but that doesn't help my heart who is so desperate to extend our family, to give Amelia a sibling, to go through all those lovely stages again, to be pregnant, feel a gorgeous little bundle growing inside my tummy, being its lifeline. It's such a magical feeling, I loved every second of pregnancy, minus the 14 weeks of morning sickness! Then, reality checks in with the reminders that Amelia sleep isn't getting better, in fact, over the past few weeks, it has got worse. The thing is, with things like that, I can justify them with "she'll have 9 months to improve" or "I'll be up with new baby anyway and won't have to go into the office next day..."

So, back to being in the middle again. Head says no, wait. Heart says do it, do it now. Who knows what will happen? Maybe it will be taken out of our hands and happen itself? Maybe one day James will just say "lets try now" and surprise me. Maybe Amelia will start sleeping through. Well, you never know. Still, at least its not something we have to make a decision on right now. At the moment we have a plan and shall be sticking to that. 2 down and 4 to go...

I've discovered the worst part of parenting...

It seems quite obvious nowI think about it, but it wasn't really one of the 'worries' I had whilst pregnant or even when Amelia was a newborn, but now, at 14 months, I realise that for the past 11 months I have been coping with something (obviously not as much as Amelia is having to cope with it) that really is an awful part of parenting. It is going to sound really silly, because I'm sure that some babies do it with ease, some parents hardly notice its going on and take it in their stride, but in our house, in this family, it is the worst thing ever and I can't wait for it all to be over!

So, if you haven't guessed already - I'm talking about teething. I knew this recent patch of teething that Amelia is going through was worse than anything she'd been through before but I just didn't know why. We thought it could be due to the fact it is the back teeth coming through this time. However, today, I discovered that number 11 and 12 are almost through at the bottom and right behind them, in big, swollen red lumps are numbers 13 and 14. Ouch. So that's 9 and 10, 11 and 12 plus 13 and 14 all trying their best to come through at the same time.

The worst thing about having a baby (or toddler as so many people are reminding me!) is that you can't take the pain away from them and they can't tell you or explain the pain and where its actually hurting. Nothing is worse than seeing them in pain when you can't really fix it.

Still, we are over half way now and I'm hoping that the rest of the peggies come quieter, softer and without pain for our darling daughter.

Whilst Im here, I thought it would be good to jot down some of the developmental stuff that Amelia is doing at the moment. She is 14 months, has been walking for 6 months, communicating all the time with us, up and down the stairs, words are cat, mummy, daddy, dada, dad, nan, Jack, Granddad, no, yes, up, down, please, ta, duck, quack. My mind has now gone blank but we think its about 20 words so far. She dances, 3 different dances as well now, she copies things so well, she even puts her fists up ready for a fight and growls at you if you prompt her! She even says cheese! for photos now too! Bless her. She is climbing everywhere and can safely get down from beds and the sofa on her own. Her favourite food is still fruit but she also loves anything cheesy or with tomato. She drinks an awful lot of water, which is fab and still has her morning bottle (although its reducing) an afternoon cup of milk and her favourite being her bedtime bottle.

Well, thats my update for now! Laters! x

My baby is One.

I feel weird just writing that. "My baby is One". It's quite a contradiction. She isn't a baby at all anymore. In fact, if I am really honest with myself, she hasn't been a baby for 2 months, since she has been walking independently but I'm a believer that ignorance is bliss.

Thinking back to this time last year, I am filled with amazement, love, happiness, frustration and self criticism. Amazement that its flown by so quickly, love for the most precious thing in our lives, happiness for the joy she has brought into our lives but frustration that it took induction of 3 gels, waters being broken, a drip and 4 days to get her born! Talk about long winded. Oh and self criticism. Well 4 days? what was all that about? So many things I shall be doing differently second time round. So, back to the reminiscing. Established labour itself was amazing. For me it was so incredibly quick. It felt like one minute I was being hooked up to the drip, unable to stand, the next I was telling them I needed to push, then I did push and she was there within seconds. The last bit is true, it did only take 2 minutes and 2 pushes (however, I wish I held back with the pushing, then the stitches may not have been so bad..........ouch.........) If you were to ask James, he'd say it felt like days......

So, for my own benefit, Amelia's development is really coming on. Walking extremely confidently now, since 10 months, talking is great - words currently are Dad, Daddy, Dada, Mum, Nan, Grandad, up, down, yes, no, cat, bath, cup. I think there are more, but I have memory block. She climbs up and down the stairs too. Sleep is hit and miss (well, no baby is perfect) however, bedtime routine is brilliant. She gets grumpy and tearful walking up the stairs when she knows its bedtime, but once we do milk, story, cuddles, song, she's asleep in a few minutes. We still have 1-2 wakings. Normally just 1 around 4-5am when she wants her milk. No idea why as she has a full bottle at bedtime and is relatively a good eater. I have a "not before 5" rule for her, which is mostly acceptable to her.

So, the next step? Well, watching her develop her speech is lots of fun, watching her kiss everything and everybody she meets (including all the bears on the bed before sleep time) and her understanding when we are speaking to her. Its a lovely age, just need to fix the sleep a bit if we can.

Incredibly broody for another but my sensible, practical side (called my husband) says to wait till she's 2..... wonder how much convincing he'd take?!

So, Amelia is almost one... eeeek!

So, its been 3 months since I have had time to sit down and write a blog entry. That's really bad isn't it? Call myself a writer?!

Anyway, to say it feels surreal to be talking about Amelia's first birthday is a total understatement. What was once my 6lb baby girl is now a very independent, feisty, cheeky and incredibly adorable growing up too fast little lady.

I know every Mum must feel this way about their little ones but I don't think I could feel any prouder of her than I already do. She may not have crawled until she was 9 months but she was taking steps at 8 months and walking confidently outside at 10 months. People always stop us to ask how old she is, as she looks too small to be walking! We, being new to this parent malarkey know no different, so its a very bizarre feeling. Last weekend was a great example. We had popped into Sainsbugs to get some wine and dessert as Dad and Helen were coming to lunch and we realised we only had red wine and ice cream.... anyway, we put Amelia's little life backpack on her and walk into the shop. Straight away we started getting "awwwwwww" and "she's so cute and tiny" comments and then all the "she's young to be walking isnt she?" (I didnt think there were any hard and fast rules on walking????) but we were proud to say the least. I think the icing on the cake was on our way out when a member of staff said "oh wow, she's gorgeous, so tiny but so confident walking, oh and I LOVE her backpack!" Its a little bumble bee :)

So, what else do I need to tell you? Oh talking, yep, that's right, Amelia loves to chatter. I wonder where she gets that from.....seeing as Im the quiet one in the family.....!!! Her favourite word is cat. Unfortunately because of this, everything is a cat. If we're out and see a dog she goes "Muuuuuuuuuuuuum Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaattttt!!!!" or "daadaaaa loooooooook caaaaaaaattttttt!!" its so funny, she gets so incredibly excited and then when we tell her "No, darling, that's a dog. Duh oooo ggggg. Hmmm. It doesnt go down that well if Im honest. Im sure inside her mind she's thinking "how odd, my own parents don't even know a cat when they see one, even though we have 2 small ones at home!" Other words include up, yes, no, down, nan, uh oh (another favourite) and cups. Its great when you can say "go get your cups Amelia, lets build a tower" and she toddles off to her toy basket to get the cups out. Amazing just how much she understands.

She also is loving brushing her teeth now. We do it together, so either with me or with Daddy. You can always tell she's excited to do it when she starts clapping, squeeling with excitement and stamping her feet. So sweet, bless her.

So, the plans for her party is well underway. We are having Chrissie (Musical Minis Leader) do an hour musical party. Ive got all the bits and bobs ready for games and party bags too. Oh and some room decs, just need a few more. We are having a family BBQ on the Sunday too. I have a feeling she's going to be a very spoilt little girl!

I never realised just how much being a Mummy would change me. My priorites shifted so suddenly but we're totally loving it. I can't wait for our family to get even bigger. Watch this space!

I never find time to write this Blog now...

I don't know why but I'm finding it really hard to keep my blog updated, which is really annoying because this is where I can openly air my thoughts and feelings and remind myself of all of Amelia's achievements and developmental stages.

So, a bit of a catch up.... I have been back at work for 3 months (don't ask, it isn't going that brilliantly) but on a more positive note Amelia is really enjoying nursery and seems to be getting a lot out of it. She is naturally a socialible baby, but nursery has encouraged this even more and has also encouraged her development too. Although the crawling (or lack of) is a bit of a frustration (for her as well as me!) she seems to want to move onto walking first. I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing, seeing as she isn't even 9 months old yet. I was quite pleased for her last night though. She got up onto her knees to reach out for a toy that was a little in front of where she was playing. She did manage to shuffle forward to grab it, eventually. Bless her. I'm not worried about her in the slightest. She is a very feisty and independent baby that's for sure and wont be told what or how to do things! (yes, this is all very familiar....!) I do love her little personality. She certainly keeps us all on our toes and forever smiling. She has taken 5 steps so far unaided and its only a matter of time now before she's off on her own. Very scary thought. She has 4 teeth too. The bottom middle 2 and then top middle 1 and then the one to the left of that, so a side one. They look very funny :)

So, my baby girl is growing up. Saturday she even grabbed James' face and said "DADA!" when I told her to wake up her Daddy. How on Earth does she know that already? Okay, so we say "Dadadada" to her a fair bit, but surely she's too young to know what or who I mean!? Amazing.

I even have some of her birthday planned as well, as sad as I am seeing my baby girl grow, its a really exciting time too. She makes me smile each and everyday. :)

Feeling better about nursery...finally...

So, Amelia has been at nursery for a few weeks now. I think its fair to say I totally underestimated how it would feel to go back to my old routine, although its slightly different now Amelia is here. Mornings are run with military precision (well as much as they can be) and evenings don't start for me until she's in her cot sleeping, but other than that, the going to work, my job, colleagues, etc have all stayed the same.

I ring nursery everyday (she only goes 2 days a week though) at lunch time to check she's having a good day, how she's coping, blah, blah blah and today was a relief to say the least. I normally ask about naps, nappies and food and thank them for putting up with my calls and hang up but today I actually thought about the call before I made it and wrote a couple of things down that I wanted to ask them (why is now I'm a Mummy I am unable to remember anything for a few minutes and have to rely on copious amounts of post it notes stuck here there and everywhere?) so, I ring and spoke to one of the girls (who is used to me ringing now) and she went through in detail Amelia's morning. She is having a really good day, she is eating more, being offered savoury and sweet at both meal times, lots of water throughout the day (one of my questions was this) and although her solid nappies are rather unsolid-like, she seems to be getting the hang of this nursery malarkey and taking it in her stride. That's my girl.

It feels weird that she is coping without me, good weird, but weird none the less. Today the nursery staff have given me the confidence that I am doing the right thing by sending her there and that she is safe, well and above all else - happy. To me, as long as she's happy, I'm happy and that's all that truly matters.