Hints and Tips for a Newborn

Well, seeing as I am a Mum to a beautiful 9 day old baby, there has been things that I have learnt that you don't read in any of the books.

Firstly, why doesn't anybody tell you how painful stitches are? I know its only been 9 days but they are agony! I have to pee in the bath, so every time I need to go, I have to run a shallow warm bath and then pee, yuck, and then get out, wash, dry, etc etc. Its not only agony but a damn hassle. I'm using some cooling cream by Zita West which has been a God send but other than that and paracetamol, I can't take anything for the pain, due to breast feeding Amelia. Arnica gel and tablets are helping, but the stinging sensation is a lot to deal with.

Secondly, how hard are night time feeds? If anything makes you want to give up breast feeding, its the night time feeds, but less on that, as I'll just start crying again.

So, another good tip is vaseline for those horrible treacle type poos! If you spread a bit of vaseline around the bum area, then when they do the yucky poo, its easier to wipe off with cotton wool and warm water.

Oh and one more whilst I think of it - try to eat plenty, drink plenty and sleep when they sleep. You never get the newborn days back, so enjoy them. x

The dreaded Day Four...

So Amelia is here and we reach day four, which nobody could have prepared us for.  She wasn't feeding well at all and with conflicting advice from the midwives we were left confused and worried about our little girl.

Sorry, let me explain properly.... I am trying to breast feed my little girl.  I know its the best thing for her, I know of all its benefits, but that doesn't make it easy or "natural" as people think it is.  In fact, once your milk comes in on day four, it can be hard work, painful and a bit of a nightmare. 

Amelia started to refuse my breast.  She screamed, she cried, she worked herself up into a state and she got all red faced and upset.  We didn't want to give her formula, I had it in my mind it was evil and I would be failing my daughter by not feeding her myself, not to mention the fact that James, my husband wanted me to breast feed probably more than I did, still he wouldn't, he wasn't going through the pain or the stress of it not working.  By Thursday night, she had been sleeping constantly for over 9 hours and was refusing breast, expressed milk from a bottle and formula.  We tried everything to get her to feed, even washing her hair that we knew would make her cry and wake her up but nothing worked.  I was chatting to my friend online who is a children's nurse who had told me she'd have taken her to A&E by now, so James made the decision that we couldn't wait any longer and had to go to the hospital.  I was so scared for my precious little girl.  We knew we'd have problems feeding, all babies do, but I didn't think she wouldn't feed at all.

The hospital checked her over and wanted to admit us to SCBU, the children's ward and the Registar wanted to keep her over night and take some bloods.  When we went up to the ward for bloods, they pricked her heel and started to squeeze the blood out of her tiny little baby foot.  I have never heard my baby girl scream and cry so much.  I was a total wreck and felt the tears fall from my eyes, down my cheeks and onto the bed where she lay in agony being squeezed and upset by this Doctor.  I know it had to be done, I know it was necessary but I cannot describe the feeling of wanting to protect my daughter and stop the pain she was feeling.  I don't think the Doctor saw me crying, but James squeezed my hand to reassure me.

Luckily the bloods came back fine, she wasn't poorly at all and by then she'd drunk some of the 2oz bottle we'd taken with us.  A lovely nurse on the ward helped us with our latch, which she still wouldn't do without shields but I managed to express 3oz and seeing as she drunk a lot of it whilst we were there, they allowed us to take her home and not stay in.  There was no way in the world I could have left my daughter in that hospital.  We have been together for 9 months of pregnancy and 4 days of being in this world and I couldn't have left her side.

Thankfully she has been feeding good ever since, but I had no idea how strong our bond was until this day.  There was nothing I wouldn't have done for my daughter and I know this bond we have will only get stronger, each and everyday she's here.

My Birth Story - 7th Sept 2008

My Birth Story.

This is going to be a long one, so either skip to photos or grab yourself a cuppa.

I guess it all started when I had my 40 week AN check up with my GP on Wednesday 3 September. I was already 3 days overdue and pretty miserable. I had mentioned to my GP that I wasnt feeling her move as much as I used to and haven't got my 10 a day for 2 days now. I thought it was quite normal to have less movements and thought it meant birth was imminent but my GP was worried and suggested icy cold water and then if it didnt work to ring the Day Assessment Unit at hospital. So, we went home and it didnt work, H begged me to call the DAU who asked me to come straight in. The hooked me up to the monitor for 2 hours and got 5 movements out of her with some prodding and poking and of course more icy water. Still not completely happy, they asked me to go back the next day for more monitoring.

Thursday 4 September came and I had more monitoring. She was moving but the MW still wasn't happy as she'd suddenly got quiet and was acting out of character. The Doctor asked if she could scan me and check she was okay. The scan showed a drastic reduction in water around her (so what I thought was sweating over the past couple of weeks was actually loosing my waters) and she said the placenta didnt look "at its best" and she wanted baby out. We were shocked, I was worried more about induction than I had been and she said she was admitting me straight away as priority. The nurse told us to go have lunch (it was 1pm) and come back with my bags etc and she'd get a room ready for me on the ward.

We went home, had lunch, packed camera, got my bags etc, sorted cats out and headed back 2 hours later. I had a nice private room and was told a MW would be giving me gel to get labour started. If that didnt work, Id have more gel Friday morning, then a Doctor would have to exam me if I needed a third lot. If that didnt work, they'd have to break my waters and put me on the drip to get things started. I didnt think Id get to that point, little did I know...!

First lot of gel didnt hurt, but wasn't a nice experience, just a bit uncomfortable. Nothing happened though so they sent H home at 8pm and I got some sleep. Second gel was at 6am on Friday, still nothing and the MW said my cervix was still long and closed but she felt it was softening up a little. Friday night I had my third and final lot of gel. By this stage I was quite tearful, emotional and felt my body was totally failing me. I began thinking it was my own fault, for being overweight, for having a good pregnancy, for moaning about her being
late and all that kind of stuff was going around in my head. My closest friends and some lovely hitchers were texting so much comfort and support, I was overwhelmed at their friendship towards me. 11pm came and I had a show. I was so excited, the MW examined me again and said I was 1cm and things were starting to work at last. I was so happy, I couldnt stop crying! Contractions were coming every 3 minutes, lasting a minute. I was so excited, H put my TENS on (couldnt have lived without it, it was a life saver) but H still had to leave at 8pm. Friday through the night was probably the worst night as I wasn't coping with them on my own and crying for H. They gave me sleeping pills to help but all this did was slow contractions down and then they stopped.

This went on for all of Saturday too. Every check they told me I was still only 1cm and would speak to a Doctor about getting my waters broke but Delivery Suite were busy and they were short staffed. I was gutted. Id be in 3 days and wanted my baby.

Sunday 7th September came and I was monitored for an hour to check her hb and my contractions. When I had a big one, we noticed that her heart rate was dropping to 80bpm and the MW was beginning to worry. I kept telling them to break my waters or I would! In the end, it got to 2pm and my favourite mw was on shift. I went to see her and demanded to see a Doctor. I explained what had been happening in the morning with baby's heart rate and she agreed to check my trace and show a doctor. An hour later she came back in and said "pack your bags, you're off to have your baby girl". I burst into tears, at last they were going to help me get this baby out. I started saying to H that I didnt think I could do it now, I was so tired, having been having contractions on and off since Friday night and emotionally, I was a wreck. Still, I now could see a light at the end of the tunnel.

I was introduced to Vanessa, a lovely midwife who was on shift. She said she didnt think our baby would be here today (Sunday) but probably in the early hours of Monday morning. Still, I didnt care, she was coming and that was the main thing. I had a thingy put in my arm but they couldnt find a big enough vein, so said that the chances of me being able to have an epidural
were limited. In fact, my H told me they said that as they didnt want to worry me, they told me there was no way they'd get one in my arm big enough to cope with it. So glad they didnt tell me that, Id have walked out! Anyway, Vanessa broke my waters and they just trickled out. I felt the contractions change instantly and H put my ipod on with Natal Hypnotherapy playing. This
had really helped me get through the past few days and make the pain more bearable. I kept breathing through them but were told they were not regular or long enough (I beg to differ, they were to me!) so they hooked me up on to the drip. I said I didnt want much of it, as I had heard it makes the pain worse, so she agreed "little and often". I got up on the bed (even though I wanted to be mobile at first) but my legs were aching and was shown how to use Gas and Air. H said I told him I felt like a balloon floating up in the air, very relaxing and distracted me from the pain of the contractions. The rest is a little blurry, but I had pethedine at 7pm when I felt the need to push, even though I was told I was only 6cm. It wasn't long after that I was telling Vanessa and H that "she's telling me to push her out, please let me!" and Vanessa was shocked, saying I was 9.5cm and could push. H went down the business end whilst still holding my hand and said he could see her head a little. 1 push later, her head was out, 1 more push her body was out.

They all stood there shocked, Vanessa had just told H that it would take me 3 hours to push her out and I did it in just TWO MINUTES! I couldnt believe it, although did say "I told you I needed to push!" Amelia was put staright onto my chest with me crying "oh my god,shes really here!" and H crying and thanking me for giving him a beautiful daughter. We had a cuddle, a feed and then H had a cuddle whilst I was stitched up from my second degree tear. Ouch. This was far worse than labour! Afterwards we were given tea and toast and left alone for a cuddle and family time. MW ran me a bath, H dressed her and we were on the ward at 1am.

Monday lunchtime I was told I could go home and how lucky that Amelia had slept 1am till 7am solid without so much as a grumble. Im sure it will all change soon. Feeding is going okay, we're on day 3 waiting for my milk to come in, so I guess that's when the challenge will really begin.

I dont think I have ever felt so much love in all my life. She has made me feel so totally complete and I thank my lucky stars for her each and every day. She is perfect.

Time to come out now please Bean!

So, I'm overdue.  This means I am officially allowed to be grumpy, over emotional and hormonal.  I wish I hadn't got it in my head that this baby was going to come early, but I did, so now I actually feel 2 weeks overdue and not just the 2 days overdue that I actually am.  Each night I'm going to bed thinking that something will happen through the night and then I wake up in the morning totally disappointed that nothing has happened and I face another day at home, bored, alone and just playing a waiting game for my little baby.

On a positive note (yes, I am an eternal optimist) the nursery is ready for her, she has so many people checking every single day that are eager to meet her and I just know she's going to be showered with gifts once she does arrive.  So much to look forward to!

Unfortunately for us (and Bean) we lost James' Nan yesterday after she was unable to recover from a stroke a few weeks ago.  As sad as it is for the whole family (and Bean who shall never get to meet her Great Nan) I do feel relieved that she is finally at peace.  I am a firm believer that she has passed in order to let Bean be born.  One in and one out they say and I think this is true for us.  All we have to do now is make sure that Bean is here in time for us to say goodbye to Nan properly.  I'd hate to have to let James gone alone, that's not what wives do after all.  I want to support him and be there for him.

So Bean, its now a VERY good time for you to come into the world and meet us all, come on, more than anything right now, we need you to bring us happiness and remind us what life is really all about.

Bump on Due Date. 31 August 08.